It's Been A While...
Boy oh boy, how do I begin this? Well, first of all.. hey friends! Long time no speak! As you can tell from the title of this post, it’s been a WHILE. Life has been crazy. I moved to Raleigh from Charlotte in the summer of 2017 (I can’t believe it’s already been that long... WILD…) and threw myself into the photography world while also trying to work a full time job. I networked more than I’ve ever networked before and was able to meet and connect with so many talented people. While meeting everyone was exciting, if I’m being honest, it was also exhausting. I definitely identify with being an introvert so after attending event after event and having meeting after meeting, I found myself shutting down and pulling away from the industry.
My last shoot was July of last year. I worked with an incredible team of vendors to put together my favorite styled shoot to date. You can view it here. Spring of that year I’d been studying techniques and learning more about lighting and couldn’t wait to put my new skills to the test during this shoot. I’d succeeded! At least in my opinion. When the shoot was over, I felt like I’d proved to myself that I could create beautiful images and that I was in fact a talented photographer. That was my high. Proving to myself that I could match all of these other photographers I saw online and on social media. It was fulfilling for a moment, but when comparison is your scoreboard, fulfillment is fleeting. I didn’t know where to go from there. Another styled shoot? Try to book some more weddings? I slowly realized that while I thought I did a great job on that shoot, I wasn’t challenged creatively.
When I decided to pursue a photography degree in college, I had zero interest in photographing weddings. It never even crossed my mind. My mind was set on creating editorial works that you see in magazines and ads. I remember watching a video about Vogue where Annie Leibovitz photographed Kirsten Dunst in this incredible pink balloon style dress on a black and white checkered floor of a magnificent hall - somewhere in Paris, I’m sure. The final image was stunning. It was creative (obviously, it’s Annie) and it was the type of work that I wanted to produce. You guys know the story, college did not teach me what I wanted to know and through a series of events I stumbled upon wedding photography.
I still love weddings. I’ll never not love weddings. Every couple I’ve ever photographed was wonderful to work with and had beautiful weddings and I loved capturing their day for them. I think capturing someone’s wedding day is one of the best gifts you can ever give to them. Photography, in general, is a gift. However, as much as I love photographing pretty details and sweet moments between family and friends, I think it’s time to officially wrap up that season of my life. Is that to say that I’m done with styled shoots? No, definitely not. It’s real weddings that I’ll no longer be photographing. I’d love to begin a new season in pursuing more editorial work but I’m not sure how or when I’ll start. For as long as I can remember, I saw myself becoming an independent, small business owner. My vision has changed recently as I have a full time job with people who I genuinely like, stability in a city that I’m learning to love, and a cozy little apartment that I call home. My family is close and I’m able to travel up to NJ and out to Cali every year (maybe even multiple times) and honestly, I don’t have anything to complain about. It’s the most relaxed I’ve ever felt. Above all, I think this experience has shown me what friends have been telling me for years when I’ve expressed doubt.. it’s ok to change your mind about where you want your life and your business to go.
All of that being said.. as much as I’m in love with my site the way it currently is, I’ll be making some changes to it in the coming weeks. All of my wedding photography/wedding related images will be archived on the site. I can’t say that I’ll consistently blog - we all know how much of a struggle that is for me :) but we’ll see. Thanks for sticking around.